My Miscarriage Story
Loss at 20 weeks
October is Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness month.
My 3rd pregnancy journey started off like the rest. I went to my 12 week appointment alone.
I can remember the appointment very vividly. I remember going in and making small chat with the sonogram technician, because I love connecting with others. 2 minutes into the scan, the technician, got up and ran out. Then the Doctor came in and she redid the scan. She looked at me directly and said that the measurement is out of range. I immediately went numb to protect myself. I asked questions, I processed the facts without any emotions. She recommended genetic testing and a CVS. I made the appointments, Stood up after the news, smiled and thanked them for their time and walked out. I remember walking past the waiting room at all the moms to be, thinking I was there 20 minutes ago, filled with Joy. I walked quickly to my car in the parking garage and dialed my mom. When she answered I remember my screams saying the Baby isn’t okay and I couldn’t breathe I was gasping for air. My mom didn’t know I was pregnant. She asked if I was okay, I wasn’t. My world was crushed. It took me about 20 minutes to just let everything out. I cried and I processed everything I could in that moment, so I could drive home.
The following day Ryan and I went to Genetic Testing and did blood work. All results came back without any mutations.
The results of the CVS found there was a translocation of chromosomes, followed by a deletion. I was told the likelihood the baby would survive was low. I still tried to remain optimistic, but lost our baby 7 weeks later.
Drop a 💛 if you had pregnancy or infant loss. Or send a Dm if you’d like to share.
✨Parenting Tip✨ Allow space to grieve. You are allowed to feel joy with all you have and sadness about the loss of life. They can co-exist together. Don’t “fix” your feelings, sit with them, and allow yourself time to heal. #octoberpregnancylossawareness #supportmoms #miscarriage #momsofinstagram #pregnancylossawareness #pregnancyloss #pregnancygrief #grief #griefjourney #feelings #allfeelingsareok #askforhelp #parentingtips #teammotherly
My family
Before our loss, we had two beautiful and healthy baby girls. After the miscarriage, our family still grew to 5 healthy and beautiful children. Some say this moment, this experience was meant to be apart of my journey, and I now agree with that. It’s hard to see the light if you’ve never been in the dark. This loss has taught me so much.